Back to the Jar Jar: The Phantom Climax
by weeaboo69
Summary: This is a story between two friends with a never-ending friendship tainted by evil. Experience the fanfic of the century as two people are forced to fight each other as their lives depend on it. PLEASE REVIEW AND DONT FLAME.


Back to the Jar Jar: The Phantom Climax

WARNING: I apologize for my stupidity

Chapter 1: The Adventure Begins

It was a cold, dangerous, hazardous, animated, dark, chilling, despicable, moody, creepy, scary, spooky, goddamning, cursed, terrifying, cruel, horrifying, shitty Monday morning. Jar Jar Binks was fingering his bunghole until his juice sprays all over his '73 Rolls Royce. "MEESA SPLOOGE!" screams Jar Jar in a orgasmic fury. He pants as he stares at his handiwork. Suddenly, he hears something so cringey and downright disturbing that he crys for his mother. "WHAT THE FRICK, YOU FRICKING FRICK FRICKING CUM ALL OVER MY FRICKING CAR, YOU FRICKING GUNGAN!" Jar Jar rolls in a ball as hears his master, SammyClassicSonicFan yelling at him with unprecedented hatred. All a sudden, the Deloran pops off of the time space continuum and Doc Brown pops off looking like a drag queen. "GREAT SCOTT, What the Fuck is going in da shizzle. We must go back to the Future to kill your asshole kids." Sammy is terrified as he realizes he is talking about Michael and Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way. With no hesistation, they run into the time machine and go to 2015!

Chapter 2: SuperMinecraftKid gets a STD from Chica

"FICK DICK SHIT BITCH NIGGER MOTHERFUCKER ASS TITS" yelled Michael a.k.a SuperMinecraftKid when he got the news from the Doc. He had a one night stand with Chica the Chicken from 5 nights at freddys, the first game to ever come out bundled with Minecraft in January 30, 1972. He recently had killed his history teacher for giving him a F on his final grade so he was not in the mood to find this out. He got AIDS, Ebola, Gonorrhea, Heart Cancer, Diabetes, Decapitation, Dismemberment, Depression, UTI, Ulcer, mouth cancer, his penis turned into a vagina, and his eyes fell straight off of their sockets. But deep down, he still loved Chica with unconditional love and understanding even when she turn him into basically a circus slut. A doctor was wearing a radioactive suit to prevent himself from his anus prolapsing. BUT BAM! SHIT! CLASH! BANG! A herd of fuckin' ugly reds were rushing from the mainland and storm into the hospital. But then chin, Jackie Chan playing Bruce Lee's relative comes in and kills all 1.2 Billion of the Red Communists. But the Chinese Governemt was turning the deceased Tong Shau Ping into a Ultimate weapon. Tong Shau Ping rises from the ashes and blindsides Chin. Chin thinks it all over then the Deloran comes out And runs over the Ulimate weapon. Doc Brown comes off and screams about Clara or some shit.

Chapter 3: The fight part 1

"Shit"

Chapter 4: The fight part 2

Chin looks at the deloran at shock. It was 2spooky4him and he dead. Jar Jar Binks runs to Chin and lets out a atomic explosion of ass so powerful that the Obi Wan Kenobi comes back to life. "MICHAEL, YOU FRICK RUIN MY REPUTATION YOU FRICKING FRICK" yells Sammy. "FUCK YOU DAD, YOU LIKE GAY ASS BABY GRAPHIC SONIC AND MARIO, YOU FUCKING FAGGOT" yells SuperMinecraftKid in response. Sammy becomes a pussy and he starts to cry over the edginess of his son. But then, "Yousa should have rspects for your dad, you squeaker" says Jar Jar. "Great SCOOT! Jar jar, grab me dick!". screames Doc. Jar Jar grabs Doc Brown's gigantic, oversize, black, swollen, leaky, big, colossal, massive, mammoth, vast, mighty, substantial, huge, monstrous dick and stabs superminecraftkid with it. It pierces his heart and he yells "FUCK I'm HIT!" as he slowly melts in a cummy liquid.

Chapter 5: For the Rebellion

Doc Brown puts his you know what back into his pants as he looks at the remains of superminecraftkid. All of sudden, Jihadi John comes out from the liquid and yells ALLAH AKBAR. He blows himself up into a bloody mess of organs and limbs as Doc Brown is sent flying into Sammy and Jar Jar. Doc Brown was covered in blood and semen as he coughs his final breath. "DOC! WHAT THE FRICK!" yells Sammy at the situation at hand. Jar Jar crys like he always does and kisses Doc because why the hell not. Doc gains the energy to speak his last word…."GREAT SCOTT!"

He dead

Chapter 6: Back to the Past and then Back to the Future

Jar Jar Binks slit his wrists as he curls up into a ball. Sammy starts to get angry with his slave and lets out a yell so powerful that the ground shakes. "Jar Jar what the frick stop crying you poser!". But Sammy realizes that the Deloran is still there. "We fricks must go back in time to save Brown from ISIS them fricks". "Meesa agree" Jar Jar says. The Deloran, however, was out of plutonium. "HOW THE FRICK ARE WE GOING TO GO BACK IN TIME! WHAT THE FRICK!" (I don't need to tell you who said that) "Meesa propose that we throw da pig grease into da chamber" Jar Jar Binks was referring to Jihadi John. "WHAT THE FRICK, JAR JAR! WHY U RACIST YOU FRICKING FRICK! But that sounds like a good idea" Jar Jar was stunned by the bypolarism but he grabs the terrorist's body parts 1 by 1, cutting them into smaller pieces, and putting them in the chamber. They climb in the Delorean. They turn on the radio and The Hills by the Weeknd was playing. "Sorry, Jar Jar, I can't stop freAKING OUT!" Sammy yells. Jar Jar sobs hysterically as he starts to hug of a picture of young Anakin Skywalker. "ANI! WHY SAMMY SO MEAN!" "ARE WE GOING BACK TO THE FRICKING FUTURE OR WHAT!" "MESSA DONT WANT TO" "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

This Mighty scream was enough to create the 1.21 gigawatts required to power up the flux captior and send them flying back to January 30, 1972, the day Notch created the first game ever made, Minecraft.

They crash into Lyon Estates right into Marty McFly's house, killing everyone in the house besides Marty, the bisexy stud. He had Weeknd hair. (p.s the Weennd is fuking smexy!) Marty McFly took out his shirt and started to pour water on himself. Jar Jar Binks gets aroused and starts to masturbate furiously. His Gungan shaft was lubing itself with his pre as he kept whacking off. Finally, Jar Jar came. "MEESA SpLoGe!" His semen landed straight into Marty's mouth and he swallow all of it in one gulp. "What can I help you guys with" says Marty trying to hold his primal urges. Sammy was disturbed because he is a prep and he hates big, black cocks. "you frick need to help us save Doc from getting killed by ISIS, he is our own hope." "Ok"

Chapter 7: I am done with this terrible story

Sammy was getting very jealous over Jar Jar's obsession with Marty that he had to take matters in his own. He shot Marty McFly using his Fire Mario backpack. Jar Jar Binks trembled in rage as he saw Marty burned to the ground into ashes. "mesa think you should fuck yourself, Sammy" he said quietly. Sammy grinned in satification. Then, Jar Jar grabbed Marty's hoverboard, put Sammy on his hands and knees, and shove the hoverboard up Sammy's arse. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" he screamed in agony as the hoverboard burn him from the inside out. Jar Jar laughs and does handstands as Sammy burns. Satisfied with his work, he walks clumsily to the Deloran to kill Ebony but he steps on manure.

"…..FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU""

The End

Unleased chapter: Trump dance off

They crashed into Trump towers where the Weeknd was performing. "Your man on the road, he doing promo

You said keep our business on the low-low

I'm just tryna get you out the friend zone

'Cause you look even better than the photos

I can't find your house, send me the info

Driving through the gated residential

Found out I was coming, sent your friends home

Keep on tryna hide it but your friends know

I only call you when it's half past five

The only time that I'll be by your side

I only love it when you touch me, not feel me

When I'm fucked up, that's the real me

When I'm fucked up, that's the real me, yeah

I only fuck you when it's half past five

The only time I'd ever call you mine

I only love it when you touch me, not feel me

When I'm fucked up, that's the real me

When I'm fucked up, that's the real me, babe"

"OMG HE SO SEXY" said Sammy as he starts to orgasm. Suddenly, Donald trumo on jetpax splooging tacos comes from the ceiling and kidnaps Weend. "WHAT THE FRICK" "MEESA PROPOSED DONALD DUCK DANCE TO WIN WEEKD"S ATTENTION!" "I WILL MAK WALL TO BLOCK JAR JAR FROM WEEek SO FUK OFF PREP"

The weeknd goes back on stage and perfroms can't touch face

And I know she'll be the death of me, at least we'll both be numb

And she'll always get the best of me, the worst is yet to come

But at least we'll both be beautiful and stay forever young

This I know, yeah, this I know

She told me, don't worry about it

She told me, don't worry no more

We both know we can't go without it

She told me you'll never be in love, oh, oh, woo

I can't feel my face when I'm with you

But I love it, but I love it, oh

I can't feel my face when I'm with you

But I love it, but I love it, oh

And I know she'll be the death of me, at least we'll both be numb

And she'll always get the best of me, the worst is yet to come

All the misery was necessary when we're deep in love

This I know, girl, I know

She told me, don't worry about it

Jar Jar does handstands

Sammy does whatever

And the trump does the Cupid Shuffle

Jar Jar wins and the weeknd had the sexes with his.

Sudeny, Hilary Cliton


End file.
